Sex Addict Wife and Pushover Husband

Photo on 8-21-13 at 5.43 AM

Here’s a true story for you.

I run into many interesting situations as a Pastor.  Some can seriously trigger major depression for me.  Some anger me; some amaze me; some situations make me feel guilty because I can’t believe how bizarre the situation is.  Not to mention I get distracted by the bizarreness.  I get “front row seats” to the most profound tragedies, the most evil sins, and the greatest acts of service to others.  The greatest glory is always given to God.

Many years ago, I once met a couple that had been married for 10 years or so.  I really loved this couple and thought their family was cute.  They had two older kids and a sweet baby (who really took to me, by the way.  Just sayin’.).

This couple seemed to be pretty cool…until they told me their story.

You see, the wife had been unfaithful to her husband with a guy from her past, whom she had been involved with before she got married.  In fact, she was a sex addict.  Her mind was also antagonized by a myriad of mental issues.  To top things off, she was not attracted to her husband.  Thus, she would have occasional “break-downs” in which she would get in the car (much to her husband’s dismay) and go to this other guy for the sex that she craved.  In fact, her baby was not conceived with her husband – it was the other guy’s.

At this point you’re probably thinking, “what kind of husband would stay in this situation and remain married to this crazy woman?”

I will tell you what kind of man: a dude who loves God more than anything and through God’s love, strength, and power, loves his wife and is committed to her – through good times and bad times.  This is a dude who gave up his life for his wife and until she leaves him for good.  He is in it for the long run.

While we are at it, this woman isn’t so crazy either.  She actually keeps coming back to her husband even though her “heart’s desire” is to be with this other guy.  She continues to surrender to the precious love of Jesus which keeps bringing her back to His will and plan.  The fact is, she could leave her husband at any time, yet she hasn’t.

Does God ever show you patience and grace despite a particular recurring sin?

We can learn a lot from this couple.

The world says to “follow your heart.  If she did this, she would have already left her husband to start a new life with the man whom her heart gravitated toward.  The husband would have beaten the hell out of this dude and then gone on with his life after divorcing his wife.

The world says to “do what feels right and feels good.”  If she followed this advice, we know what she would have done by now.  The husband would have thrown in the towel years ago.  That would be way easier, way less stressful, and way less humiliating.

The world says “divorce is always an option.”  This couple says “No, it’s not.”  They are still together, and to my knowledge, through Jesus’ strength, have weathered the storm.

This couple represents all marriages: two sinners who have to learn selflessness.

Jesus is the real hero, but I can’t help to think of the word “heroes” when I think of what this couple has battled, endured, and persevered through.

What do you think?

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